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Ex-Nun Exposes the Horror and Evil of the Catholic Church
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Charlotte Keckler  (1889-1983) entered the convent at age 13.  This is her story in her own words.

Video @ YouTube

(The video ends before she finishes her talk.  The transcript below has the full story. Be sure to read all pages.)

INTRODUCTION

First of all I always want to tell folks that I am not giving this testimony because I have any ill feeling in my heart toward the Roman Catholic people. I couldn’t be a Christian if I still had bitterness in my heart. God delivered me from all bitterness and strife one day and made Him self real to me in the power of the Holy Spirit. And so, when I give this testimony, I’m giving it because after God saved me, he delivered me out of the convent and out of bondage to darkness, the Lord laid a burden upon my heart to give this testimony that others might know what plight the convents are. And so as you listen carefully this afternoon, I trust that I’ll not say one thing that will leave any feeling in your heart whatsoever that I don’t carry a burden for the Roman Catholic people. I don’t like the things they do. I don’t agree with the things that they teach, but I covet their souls for Jesus. I’m interested in their souls. I believe that when Jesus went to Calvary, He died that you and I might know Him. And their souls are just as precious as your soul and my soul. So I’m interested.

 

1 – DESIRE TO WORK FOR GOD

First of all as we get into this testimony: Having been born into Roman Catholicism, not knowing anything else, not knowing the Word of God – because we didn’t have the Bible in our home. We had never heard anything about this wonderful plan of salvation. And so, naturally, I grew up in that Roman Catholic home as a child knowing only the catechism, knowing only the teaching of the Roman Catholic Church. And because I loved the Lord, and because I wanted to do something for Him – I wanted to give Him my life – I didn’t know of any other way for a Roman Catholic girl to give her life to God other than by entering a convent.

After going to the confessional box, where naturally I’m under the influence of my Father confessor, the Roman Catholic Priest – his influence over my life – one day I made up my mind, through His influence and one of my teachers in the parochial school that I wanted to be a little sister. At that time I thought of being a sister of the Open Order. And as I went on into this, up until the time I took my White Veil, sixteen and a half years of age, everything was beautiful. I really didn’t have any fear in my heart whatsoever. Everything that was taught to me seemingly along the lines of what I had been taught in the Church before I had entered the convent.

 

And so one day, after making up my mind to enter the Convent, I remember that particular day, two of the sisters came home with me from school. They were my teachers. They arrived in my father’s home that afternoon, and our Father confessor was in the home likewise. I often say that when I was a little girl, children were seen and not heard. You didn’t talk when you were a child; at least you didn’t in my family in my home, unless you were spoken to. And I remember I listened to them carry on a conversation. And then I moved over close enough to my father to ask him if I could say something. That was a bit out of the ordinary. And he permitted me to talk. And I said, “Dad, I want to go into a Convent.” And I’ll tell you that priest took it up quickly. They already had been influencing me.

My father broke down and began to cry, not because he was sad, but because he was so happy. My mother came over and took me in her arms and she, too, wept tears – she was very happy. Those were not tears of sadness because to think that her little girl was giving her life to the Convent to pray for lost humanity. And naturally, my family was very thrilled about it. And I was, too.

 

2 – INTO THE CONVENT

But anyway I didn’t go for about a year after that. And then the time came when I was to leave and my mother prepared things for me. So I entered the convent. They took me. And they didn’t have a place close enough to my father’s and mother’s home, so I think they took me around a thousand miles away from my home. So I entered a convent boarding school. I lasted about three months being thirteen years of age – just as a girl. I look back on it now, and think… my. Homesick? I was so homesick! Why, my mommy and daddy, they stayed three days with me and then they left. I became so homesick. Naturally, why shouldn’t I? — I was just a baby never away from home. When I was a little girl, you know, I never spent a night away from my mother. And I surely had never gone any place without my family. And naturally there was close ties in my family, and I was very lonely and very homesick. But I’ll never forget after Dad and mother told me, “Good-bye.” And I knew they’d be traveling a long distance away from me. And I had never realized in my heart I’ll never see them again. Naturally I hadn’t planned it like that because I had planned to be a sister of the Open Order.

But if you listen carefully to this portion of the testimony then you’ll understand just why I’m saying some of the things I am saying. Now oftentimes we say the priest selects his material through the confessional box, because at seven years of age I went to confessional. At seven years of age I would always, when I’d come into the church first, first I’d sit there at the feet of a crucifix. I’d go to the Virgin Mary and then at the feet of the crucifix, and I’d ask the Virgin Mary to help me make a good confession… because I was a child and my heart was honest. And I knew that the priest taught us to always make a good confession – keep nothing back – tell everything if I expected absolution from any sin that I might have committed.

And so I would ask the Virgin Mary to help me make a good confession. And I would ask Jesus to help me make a good confession. And, I’ll assure you, after I lived in the convent for a short period of time I had to go on with my schooling — I had just finished the eighth grade. And they promised me to give me a High School education and some college education. But I didn’t get much college. I got mostly just high school training. And they gave that to me all right. I took it under some terrible difficulties and strains and all of that – it was rather difficult. But they gave it to me for which I appreciate very very much. But I’ll assure you, after they they put me through the crucial training that we must go through to become just a little novitiate entering a convent, the training is really, it’s outstanding as far as the nun is concerned, and you’ll know what its all about after you’ve been in there for a little while.

So now I entered the convent. And for just a few minutes we want to tell you just a little bit how we lived – what we eat, how we sleep. If I take you into the convent and tell you about those things, you’ll understand a little bit more about my testimony.

 

3 – THE WHITE VEIL

First, as I entered the convent, as just a small child I went on to school, I was being trained. But the day came when I was about fourteen and a half when the Mother Superior began telling me about the “White Veil.” And I didn’t know too much about it. By taking the White Veil, they told me that I would become the spouse or the Bride of Jesus Christ. There would be a ceremony. And I would be dressed in a wedding garment.

And on this particular morning, they told me at nine o’clock they would dress me up in a wedding garment. Now, you’re wondering where that came from, and how they got the wedding clothes for the little nuns. The Mother Superior sits down and writes a letter to my father to tell him how much money she wants. And then, whatever she asks, my father sends it. And she, the little buying sister, goes out and buys the material, and the wedding gown is made by the Nuns of the Cloister. (I’m still Open Order now.)

And of course, whatever she asks — now you say, “Did they spend all of the money for the wedding gown?” Well of course, we don’t know these things at the very beginning of our testimony, but after we live in a convent for a little while, we learn to know they could ask my father for a hundred dollars and he’d send it. They would not use maybe a third of that for the wedding garment. They would keep the rest of it, and my father would never know the difference. Neither did I until I’d lived in a convent for a period of time and I had to make some of the wedding clothes. And then I knew the value of them, and what they cost. And I knew of the money that came in because I was one of the older Nuns.

Well, alright, the time came, of course, when I walked down that aisle and I was dressed in a wedding garment. And you know, in the convent, I used to walk the fourteen Stations of the Cross the fourteen steps that Jesus carried the cross to Calvary, but after I made up my mind to take the White Veil, never again did I walk. I wanted to be worthy. I wanted to be holy enough to become the spouse or the Bride of Jesus Christ. And so I would get down on my knees and crawl the fourteen stations – quite a distance. But I crawled them every Friday morning. I thought it would make me holy. I felt it would draw me closer to God. It would make me worthy of the step that I was going to take. And that’s what I wanted more than anything in the world.

I would like to impress that in your hearts.
Every little girl that enters a convent that I know anything about, that child has the desire to live for God. That child has the desire to give her heart and mind and soul to God. Now, many, many people make this remark and we hear it from various types of folks who say, “Only bad women go into convents.” That isn’t true. There are movie stars who go into convents. They’ve lived out in the world and no doubt they are sinners and all of that. But they go in when they’re women. They know what they’re doing. And they go in only because the Roman Catholic Church is going to receive, not only thousands, but yea it will run up into the millions of dollars. And they don’t mind who they take in as they can get a lot of money out of an individual.

But when the woman goes in as just a child – she’s just a child – and she goes in there with her heart and mind and soul just as clean as any child could be. I say that because sometimes we hear a lot of things that are really not true.
Now, after we become the spouse of Jesus Christ – I want you to listen carefully to this, and then you can follow me into the rest of the testimony – we are now looked upon as married women. We are looked upon as married women. We are the spouse or the Bride of Jesus Christ.

 

4 – BECOMING THE BRIDE OF CHRIST

Now, the priest teaches that every little girl that will take the White Veil they’ll become the bride of Christ. He teaches her to believe that her family will be saved. It doesn’t make any difference how many banks they rob, how many stores they rob. It doesn’t make any difference how they drink and smoke and carouse and live out in this sinful way and do all the things that sinners do. It doesn’t make a bit of difference. Still, our family will be saved if we continue to live in the convent and give our lives to the convent or to the Church, we can rest assured that every members of our immediate family will be saved.

And you know that there are many little children that are influenced and enticed to to go into convents because we realize that it will be the salvation for our families. And sometimes, even Roman Catholic family, the children grow up and leave the Roman Catholic Church and go out into the deepest of sin. And so every little girl that enters into the convent is hoping by her sacrificing so much – home and mother and daddy – everything that a child loves – her family will be saved regardless of what sins they commit. And of course we’re children and our minds are immature and we don’t know any better. And it’s so easy to instil things like that into the hearts and minds of little children, and the priest is really very good at it.

And of course we looked upon our priest – our Father confessor – I looked upon him as God. He’s the only God I knew anything about. To me he is infallible. I didn’t think he could sin. I didn’t think that he would lie. I didn’t think that he ever made a mistake. I looked upon him as the holiest of holies, because I didn’t know of God, but I did know the Roman Catholic Priest. And to me, I looked to him for everything that I asked of any of God, so to speak, I believed the priest would give it to me.

And so the day comes and we, all of us now – and as we go on in, I want you to listen carefully, after taking the White Veil – things are beautiful. I’m sixteen and a half years of age. Everyone’s good to me. And I’m living in the convent and I haven’t seen anything yet, because no little girl – we’re not subject to a Roman Catholic Priest until we’re twenty-one years of age. And as we give you this next vow, then you’ll understand – we don’t know about this. This is kept from the little sisters until we’ve taken our Black Veil and then it’s too late.

I don’t carry the keys those double doors, and there’s no way for me to come out. The priests will tell all over the whole United States and other countries that sisters, or Nuns, rather, can walk out of convents when they want to. I spent twenty-two years there; I did everything there was to do to get out. I’ve carried table spoons with me into the dungeon and tried to dig down into that dirt because there are no floors in those places. But I never yet found myself digging far enough to get out of a convent with a table spoon, and that’s about the only instrument – because when we’re using the spade – and we do have to do hard, heavy work – when we use a spade we’re being guarded – we’re being watched by two older Nuns and they’re going to report on it — and I’ll assure you you’re not going to try and dig out with a spade. You wouldn’t get very far anyway, because they built and made those convents, or built those convents, so little Nuns cannot escape. That was their purpose in building them, as they build them. And there’s no way for us to get out unless God makes a way. But I believe God’s making a way for numbers of little girls to come out of the convent.

 

5 – THE BLACK VEIL

Now when the time comes, I think I was eighteen when the Mother began talking to me. I planned to come out, see, after my White Veil. I wanted to be a little nursing sister in the Roman Church. But the Mother Superior – I suppose she was watching my life – I suppose she realized I had much endurance, I had a strong body. And I believe the woman was watching me, because one day she asked me to come into her office. And she began to tell me, “Charlotte, you have a strong body.” And she said, “I believe you have the possibilities of making a good Nun. A Cloistered Nun. I believe you’re the type that would be willing to give up home, give up mother and daddy, give up everything you love out in the world, and the world, so to speak, and hide yourself away behind convent doors. Because I believe you’re the kind that would hide back there and be willing to sacrifice and live in crucial poverty that you might pray for lost humanity.” She said, “I believe you’re the kind that would be willing to suffer.” Because we’re taught to believe, as Nuns, that as we suffer our loved ones, and your loved ones that are already in a priest’s purgatory will be delivered from purgatory sooner because of our suffering.

She knew I was willing to suffer. I didn’t murmur. I didn’t complain. She knew all of that. She’s watching my life, and that’s the reason she began to tell me about the Black Veil. And then, of course, you know, I didn’t know too much about a Cloistered Nun. I didn’t know their lives. I didn’t know how they live. I didn’t know what they’ve done, but, you know, this woman proceeded to tell me.
Now we hear a lot of people try to tell me in the various places that we travel and go – I’ve heard a lot of Roman Catholics try to tell me, “I’ve been in so many Cloisters. I know all about them.” But you know a Roman Catholic can lie to you. And they don’t have to go to Confession and tell the priest about the lie that they’ve told, because they’re lying to protect their faith. They can tell any lie they want to to protect their faith and never go to the confessional box and tell the priest about it.

They can do more than that. They can steal up to forty dollars. And they don’t have to tell the priest about it. They don’t have to say one word about it in the Confessional box. They are taught that. Every Roman Catholic knows it. And every Roman Catholic – you’d be horrified to know how many of them steal up to that amount. And many of them lie. We’ve dealt with them. I’ve dealt with hundreds and hundreds of them. I’ve seen a good many of them fall in the altar and cry out to God to save them. And you know before their saved, they look into my face and hold my hand and lie to me. But after God gets a hold of their heart, then they want to make right what they’ve told me because they realize they’ve lied about it. But as long as they’re Roman Catholic, they’re permitted to lie. And it’s the saddest thing. You can’t expect them to know God, because God does not condone sin.

I don’t care who you are. I don’t believe God condones sin. And I don’t believe He’s going to condone it in the Roman Catholic people, even though they’re being misled and they’re being blinded and led into ways that are going to lead them into a devil’s hell.
I believe that with all of my heart, because I’ve lived in a convent. I know something about how these people live and what they do.
Now the day comes. She told me, “Charlotte, you have to be willing to spill your blood. Jesus shed His upon Calvary.” She said, “You have to be willing to do penance. Heavy penance,” She said, “You have to be willing to live in crucial poverty.”
Now already I’m living in the pit of poverty, but I thought that was going to make me holy, and draw me closer to God, and would make me a better Nun. And so I’m willing to live in that poverty.

 

6 – LAYING IN A CASKET

And then on this particular morning, she told me what I would be wearing. She said, “You’ll spend nine hours in a casket.” And she explained a number of things to me. That is the most I knew about it. And I didn’t find that out until I had taken my White Veil.

And so, on this particular morning, I’m twenty-one years of age. But sixty days previous to my being twenty-one years of age, I’m going to sign some papers that they place in front of me. And those papers are this. I’m going to sign away every bit of inheritance that I might have received from my family after their death. Of course I signed that over to the Roman Catholic Church. And oftentimes I say the Roman Catholic priests are enticing girls – not only their background, not only their strong bodies, their strong minds and strong wills – but he is enticing girls where mothers and fathers have much property, and they are comfortably fixed with the material things of this life. Why? Because when that child enters the convent they’re going to get a portion of her money – of her father’s money.

And I often say even salvation in the Roman Catholic Church is going to cost you plenty of money. More than you know anything about. And so they don’t mind commercializing off of that child and the inheritance that would have come to her.

7 – A FUNERAL SHROUD INSTEAD
OF A WEDDING GARMENT

And so on this particular morning I told the Mother Superior, “Give me a little while to think it over.” She didn’t make me do it. No one did. But I thought it over for a couple of years, and then one day I told her. I think I’m going to hide away behind the convent doors, because I believed I could give more time to God. I could pray more. I maybe would be in a position where I could inflict more pain upon my body because we’re taught to believe that God smiles down out of Heaven as we do penance – whatever the suffering might be. And I didn’t know any better, because, I often say, if you could only look into the hearts of little Nuns, if you are a Christian, you would immediately cry out before God in behalf of those little girls, because to me we are heathens. It doesn’t make any difference the amount of education we may have. We are still heathens. We know nothing about this lovely Christ – nothing about the plan of salvation. And we’re living as hermits in the Convent.

And so on this particular morning I come walking down an aisle again, similar to that. And, may I say, on the morning before, I can’t go into it too deep, because I would never be able to cover enough of it so you could understand it, but this morning I’m walking down that aisle, but I don’t have a wedding garment on. I have a funeral shroud. Its made of dark red velvet. And it’s way down to the floor. And I’m walking down that aisle. Now, I know what I’m going to do. The casket is already made by the Nuns of the Cloister – very rough boards, and it’s sitting right out here. And I know when I come down there that I’ll step into that casket and lay my body down. And I’m going to spend nine hours in there. And two little Nuns will come and cover me up with a heavy black cloth we call a heavy drape mortel. And, you know, it’s so heavily incensed that I feel like I will smother to death. And I have to stay there.

Now, I know when I come out of that casket I’ll never leave the Convent again. I know I’ll never see my mother and father again. I’ll never go home again. I’ll always live behind convent doors and when I die my body will be buried there. They told me that. So I knew it even before I done it. Its a great price to pay and then to find out that Convents are not religious orders as we were taught and as we were trained. It’s quite a disappointment to a young girl that’s given her life to God and willing to give up so much and sacrifice so much. I’ll assure you, it was a disappointment.

And so after I spent those nights… You say, “What did you do when you lay in that casket?” What do you think I did? I spilled every tear in my body. I remembered every lovely thing my mother done for me. I remembered her voice. I remembered the gathering around the table. I remembered the times when she would pray with us. I remembered the things that she said to me. I remembered what a marvelous cook she was. Everything, as a little girl growing up in that home, I remembered it, laying in that casket – knowing I’ll never hear her voice again. I’ll never see her face again. I’ll never put my feet under her table again, enjoy her good cooking. I knew all that. And so maybe for four hours I spilled all the tears in my body because it was so hard. And I knew I’d get homesick. I knew I’ll want to see her someday, but I gave it all up. What for? For the love of God I thought. I didn’t know any better.

And I’ll assure you those were nine long hours. And then I seemingly got a’hold of myself, and I thought this, “Charlotte, now you’re going to make the best Carmelite Nun,” because everything I’ve ever done even now that I’m out of the convent I do give my best. I’d try to give everything that I had regardless of what I might do. And so I did in the Convent. I gave the best that I have. And I wanted to be the best Nun that I could possibly be. And the Mother Superior knew that. And, don’t worry, the priest knew all about it, too.

 

8 – VOWS SIGNED IN BLOOD

Now, I realize after I walk out of that casket, or come out of it, they’re going to take me like this. Over here, right back here, is a room. We call it the “Mother Superior’s Room.” Now, I’d never been in that particular room, so I don’t know what is to happen in there. But you know when I walk in there this time the Mother Superior sits me down in a straight-back, hard-bottom chair. And immediately then I’m going to take three vows of poverty chastity and obedience. And you know, as I take those vows, she opens a little place in the lobe of my ear and takes out a portion of blood, because I must sign every vow in my own blood.

And after that happens, then I’m going to take the vow of poverty. Now when I sign that vow, I sign it thus, that I’m willing to live in crucial poverty the balance of my life as long as I live. And what that poverty is like, of course, we don’t know.

And then my next vow, I’m going to do a vow of chastity. And you know this vow, of course you know what it means. I’m taught to believe that I’m married to Jesus Christ. I’m His bride. I’ll always remain a virgin. I’ll never legally marry again in this world because I have become the spouse or the bride of Jesus Christ.

After the Bishop married me to Christ, he placed the ring on my finger. And that meant I’m sealed to Christ. I’m married to Him and I accepted it because I didn’t know any better.

And now here I am taking a vow that I would always remain a virgin because I’m the bride of Christ. And I want you to listen carefully.

And then of course my last vow of obedience. Now, when we sign that vow, I’ll assure you, already I know what obedience means. I’m living in a convent. And there they demand absolute obedience. You don’t get by with anything. Not even for two minutes. I mean, you don’t get by with it. You have to realize what obedience means. And they demand it. And you learn to know it. And you’re much wiser the more quickly you learn it and you obey it. And you give them absolute obedience.

Alright, now. What does it mean to sign vows like this? Let me tell you this. It means more than you folks will ever know because most people that I know anything about, they know very little about obedience. Oh, in a sense, yes. But you’ll never know what a little Nun knows about obedience, I’ll assure that one thing, unless you’ve lived in the convent.

Alright, that particular vow when I signed it in my own blood, it done something to me, because, after I’ve signed those vows, do you realize that I signed away everything I have – my human rights? I have become a mechanical human being now. I can’t sit down until they tell me to. I don’t dare to get up until they tell me to. I can’t lie down until they tell me to. And neither do I dare to I get up. I cannot eat until they tell me to. And what I see I don’t see. What I hear I don’t hear. What I feel I don’t feel. I’ve become a mechanical human being, but you’re not aware of that until you have signed all these vows. Then you realize, “Here I am – a mechanical human being.” And, of course, I belong to Rome now, I’ll assure you that right now.

Alright, after these particular vows, we become forgotten women in the convent. In just a short while you’ll understand what I’m talking about. Now, immediately after I’ve taken those vows, then the Mother Superior is going to take away from me my name and give me the name of a patron saint. And she teaches me to believe that whatever happens to me in the convent, I can pray to that patron saint saint and she will intercede for me and get my prayers through to God, because I’m not holy enough to stand in the presence of God.
It isn’t a wonder the little Nuns can never get closer to God. We have always been taught that we’ll never be holy enough to stand in His presence. And we always have to go through somebody else in order to get a prayer through to God. And we believe it because we don’t know any better.

 

9 – ALL FORMER IDENTIFICATIONS LOST

And so now all identification of who Charlotte was is going to be put away, it’ll be taken away from me. And if you knew me and would come to the convent and call for my family name they’d tell you there isn’t such a person as that. I don’t exist, even though I’m right there, because I’m writing under another name.

Now the Mother Superior is going to cut every bit of hair off of my head. And when she cuts it with the scissors she puts the clippers on it. And I mean there’s nothing left. I just don’t have one speck of hair left on my head. And, of course, if you could be a Nun you would understand the heavy head-gear that we have to wear would be so cumbersome to have hair and so cumbersome to take care of it, we don’t have any way of taking care of it in the convent. There are no combs in the convent. And so you can imagine how hard it would be for us to take care of a head of hair. It’s not necessary that we have a comb after they finish with us.

Alright, now. This is my Black Veil. These are my perpetual vows, we’ll call them. I’m there and I’m going to stay there.
Now, you know, up until this time I received a letter once a month from my family. And I wrote a letter out of that convent once a month to my family. Even though, when I would write that letter, I had no doubt they marked out a lot of it, because when I would receive a letter from my family there was so much of it blacked out until there was no sense to the letter. And, oh, I’d weep over those black marks. I was wondering what my mother was trying to say to me. And don’t worry; you’ll never get to know what she wanted to to say to you, because they blacked it out.

And so they break your hearts many, many times and you’re lonely anyway because you had no friends in the convent. I’ll assure you, even though there was a hundred and eighty on my particular wing, not one of those Nuns were my friend and neither was I a friend to them, because we are not allowed to be friends in the Convent. We are all policemen or detectives watching each other – that’s so we’ll tell. And the little Nun who finds something to tell on the other Nuns, she stands in good favour with the Mother Superior. And then the Mother tells that Nun to believe that when she stands in good favour with the Mother Superior, she’s standing in good favour with God. And so that little Nun, of course, will want that, and she’ll tell a lot of things, maybe that are not even true, on the other little Nuns.
Alright, now,  after all of this has transpired and after all of this has happened – everything I have is gone, I’ve sold my soul for a mess of theological pottage, because, not only are we destroyed in our bodies, many of us in our minds, and many of us, if we die in the Convent, we’ve lost our souls.

And so it’s a serious thing. And I surely covet your prayers for little Nuns behind Cloistered Convent doors. They’ll never hear this Gospel. They’ll never know the Christ that you folk know tonight. They’ll never pray to Him as you people pray to Him. They’ll never feel His blessings as you people feel them. So put them on your hearts and pray for them. They surely need much prayer.

Alright, now as I walk into that room and all of this is transpiring. Now, bless you heart, I don’t know what’s going to be in the next room. After this has transpired, and I’ve taken the vows that I will always remain a virgin, I will never legally marry in this world because I’m the spouse of Christ. And then after this, and the Mother Superior leads me out into another room, or rather she opens the door and I’m to be sent into that room.

 

10 – THE PRIEST IS THE HOLY GHOST

And when I walk out in that room I see something I have never seen before. I see a Roman Catholic Priest dressed in a holy habit. And he walks over to me and locks his arm in my arm which he had never done in the first part of my convent life. I never had a priest to insult me in any way. I never had one of them to be even unkind to me in the first part of my convent experience. But here he is now. And of course I didn’t understand what it was all about. And I didn’t know what in the world the man expected of me. And you know, I pulled from him because I felt highly insulted. And I pulled from him and I said, “Shame on you.” And it made him very angry for a minute. And the Mother Superior must have heard my voice, because she came out immediately, and she said, “Oh,” and they called me by my Church name. She said, “After you’ve been in the convent a little while you won’t feel this way. The rest of us felt the same way you do.”

And you know the priest’s body is sanctified. And therefore it is not a sin for us to give the priests our bodies. In other words, they teach every little Nun this: As the Holy Ghost placed a germ in Mary’s womb, and Jesus Christ was born, so the Priest is the Holy Ghost, and therefore it isn’t a sin for us to bare his children. And let me tell you, that’s what they come to the convent for. No other purpose in this entire world do priests come into the convent but to rob those precious little girls of their virtue. And I’ll assure you, we’ll be telling you a little later in the testimony just what they really do after they come in under those particular deals.

But may I say; now every bridge has been burned out from under me. There’s no way back. I can’t get out of the convent, even though I pled. Oh, how I pled with that priest, “Send for my father. I want to go home. I don’t want to go any farther.” Only to laugh in my face. And, let me tell you, that’s when you stand alone. And you don’t know who to turn to. And you’re a victim of circumstances. And you live in the convent because there is no other way to get out of the convent. And, I’ll assure you, I stayed in the convent until God made a way for me to come out. So now after all of this, my mail will stop. I’ll never receive another bit of mail from my family. Never another letter. I belong to the Pope. I belong to Rome.

And then after all of this, the Mother Superior after taking these particular vows and the priest has invited me to go to the Bridal Chamber. You say, “Did you go?” No. Definitely not. I didn’t enter the convent to be a bad woman. It would have been much easier to have stayed out of the convent to be a bad woman. You wouldn’t go into the convent and live in the poverty we lived in and to suffer as we suffered to be a bad woman. No girl would do that. It would have been much easier to stay out of the convent if I wanted to be a bad woman. But I went there to give my heart and life to God. And that was the only purpose I had in going there.

And here this priest is, and of course I didn’t go into the Bridal Chamber with him. I had a strong body then. One of us would have been wounded because I would have fought until the last drop of blood. And, you know, it made them very, very angry, I’ll assure you. But I didn’t go to the Bridal Chamber with him.

 

11 – BEFORE A DEAD NUN FOR ONE HOUR

But now I’m going to have to go to penance the next morning, and of course this will be a heavier penance because of what I’d done already. And when the Mother Superior says, “We’re going to do penance the next morning,” I’m going to be initiated as a Carmelite Nun. And I remember when she walked with me down into that particular place it was a dark room. Now remember, I lived above on the first floor until my Black Veil. After the Black Veil, they take me one storey under the ground. And I live there from then on until God delivered me. Under the ground, I didn’t live in the top part of the buildings at all.

But you know, as we walked into this room, it’s dark and it’s very cold. And when we walked in, we came from back there somewhere. We come walking towards the front. And I walked along beside the Mother Superior. And when I got near the front I saw those little candles burning. Anywhere in the convent you’ll find the seven candles burning. And when I came a little closer I saw the candles, but I couldn’t see anything else. And I wondered what is she going to do to me. That’s the thing in our hearts and we can’t get away from it, because we have fear.

And when I come a little closer I saw something lying on a board there. And, you know, when I came real close then I realized here’s a little Nun lying on that board. I call it a cooling board because it was that, and just as long as her body. And there she was. And when I could see where the candles flickered down on her face I realized that child is dead. And, oh, I wanted to say so much, “How did she die? Why is she here? How long do you keep her here?” But, you remember, I signed away every human right. And so I can’t say one word, but I stood looking.

And then the Mother Superior said, “You stand vigilant over this dead body for one hour.” And at the end of the hour a little bell is tapped and another Nun will come to relieve me. And may I say, I was advised every so many minutes I would have to walk out into the up to front of that little body and sprinkle holy water and ashes over the body and say, “Peace be unto you.” And I did exactly what they told me to do. Oh, it was a terrible feeling. I’m not afraid of the dead. Its the live people we have to be very cautious about. And I wasn’t afraid of that little dead Nun, but, oh, my heart ached for her.

And you know after the bell tapped and I realized my hour had gone, the Nun who comes to relieve us comes back here somewhere. And of course we walked on our tip-toes. No noise was made in the convent. And they don’t speak, they just touch you. And of course, my being down there with that little dead Nun, and I was full of fear, when that girl laid her hand on my shoulder I let out a scream – a horrible scream – from fear – just fear.

 

12 – THE FLAGELLATION WHIP

And, you know, I didn’t mean to do it. I didn’t break that rule on purpose, but I was scared. And immediately, of course, I had to come before the Mother Superior and that’s when I first learned to know, one of the first times, about a dungeon. They didn’t tell me there were dungeons in the convents. And she put me in such a dirty, dark place, with no floor in it for three days and nights. And I didn’t get any food and any water. And I’ll assure you I didn’t scream any more. I tried so hard not to break the rules of screaming, because there’s a dungeon and I know they’ll put you in it. And, let me tell you right now, it’s not a nice place to be. After you’ve been in one of those places you’ll know what it feels like.

I’ll say this before I go any farther that Popery is a masterpiece of Satan. I said it’s a masterpiece of Satan with its lying wonders and its traditions and its deception. It’s a terrible thing when you know about it.

And so as I come down into this room, she took me, and let me look at this little girl, the penance is over, the very next morning she said again to me, “Charlotte, you’re going to do penance.” – Not the next morning – it was three days after because I spent three days and nights in the dungeon, the fourth, fifth morning, whichever it was, she said, “You’re going to do penance.” She took me down into another room – not the same room. And when we come walking down this time I could see that big piece of wood, but I didn’t know what it was. And when I came a little closer there was a cross. It was made of heavy timber. I might say it was maybe eight or ten feet high. Very heavy. And that cross was sitting on an incline like that. And she had me walk over here at the base of the cross, and she said, “Now strip your clothes off.” And I took my clothes off. And then she made me – down to my waistline – and then she made me drape my body over the foot of that cross, and she pulled my hands underneath and bound them to my feet. And then, you know, that’s where I learned to spill my blood. And she had not told me how, and neither could I ask how I would spill it.

And she gave two little Nuns that came with her a flagellation whip. I might call it a bamboo pole. It’s about this long – it’s about that big around. And it has six straps on it about this long. And on the end of either of those straps there’s a cross sharp piece of metal. And those little Nuns, either was given one of these whips, and they stood on either side of the cross. Now, at the same time those girls began whipping my body. And I mean when that metal hit my body it would break the hide, of course. It would cut into the flesh and I spilled blood. And it was running down to the floor. That’s my flagellation whipping. That is where I spill my blood as Jesus shed His upon Calvary.

And of course I’m human. It wounded. It hurt. It was very painful. After the whipping is over they don’t bathe my body. They put my clothing back on my body and I have to go the rest of the day.

When the night comes and I stand in front of my cell, there – after we stand there to undress with our backs to each other. And then when I went in, oh… I couldn’t sleep that night. I just wasn’t a bit sleepy because I couldn’t take off all my clothes. They had dried in those wounds. And it was terrible. I didn’t take them off for several nights.

 

13 – THE NUN’S DIET

And, I’ll assure you, when I came before my food, I didn’t want my cup of black coffee.

In the morning we get a cup of black coffee they serve in a tin cup. We can have no milk and no sugar of any type. And we have one slice of bread. That’s made by the Nuns of the Cloister. They weighed it. It weighs four ounces. That’s all I get for breakfast.
And then of course in the evening I get a bowl of soup. And that’s fresh vegetables cooked together. There’s no seasoning in the soup whatsoever, and a half a slice of bread. And three times a week they give me a half a glass of skim milk.

That consists of my food three hundred and sixty five days in the year.

And I began losing weight very rapidly, I’ll assure you, because I didn’t have enough food to eat. I don’t know the day I went to bed without a hungry stomach. Sometimes it would be so hungry I couldn’t sleep. The pain was gnawing. You can’t hardly stand it. And you know you’re only going to get that one slice of bread the next morning. That doesn’t fill you up. And of course we have to work hard all day long.

And I’ll assure you… those little Nuns, and I covet your prayers for them. They need your prayers in more ways than one because you’ll go to bed with a full stomach tonight. And you’re very comfortable right now. But I’ll assure you there’s not one of them that’s comfortable. They’re hungry and they’re sick and they’re wounded and they’re hurt and they’re heartsick and homesick – and discouraged. And worst of all, seemingly, they have no hope. No hope.

You and I are looking forward to the day when we’re going to see Jesus. They have no hope whatsoever. And I surely hope you don’t forget to pray for them.
Alright. That was terrible, I’ll assure you.

More Here>>

 

 

 

Better than a thriller! Documentary: CRIMEA. WAY BACK HOME Tags: Crimea Documentary Videos

“Crimea: The Way Home” Lada Ray 4-27-15

Крым. Путь на Родину. Документальный фильм Андрея Кондрашова

Crimea. Road to Motherland (aka, Way Back Home). Film by Andrey Kondrashov

 

Lada writes:

"The film includes an eye-opening reconstruction of the events on Kiev maidan and how the participants of the Kiev anti-maidan from Crimea, who came to express their viewpoint, were brutally hunted down and eliminated (very little known and remembered violent suppression of an alternative point of view by the Ukrainian beacon of Western democracy).

"Events leading up to Crimea’s vote for independence, including attempts by well-trained thugs from Kiev maidan and groups of radical local Tatars to take over Crimea, how unarmed people rose against armed Ukrainian SBU and army, the appearance of the “little green men” and their role, how Ukrainian army switched to the Russian side;

"...to top it all off, operation ‘Yanukovich’ – how Ukraine president had 30 minutes to live and how he was whisked away. The whole movie is punctuated with candid and super-revealing interviews with Vladimir Putin, who tells the truth as it is about his personal role and personal control over the Crimea events (incidentally, as I predicted from the start)."

Crimea: The Way Home - EN Subtitles - Full Documentary

https://vimeo.com/123194285

On YouTube a only Russian version is here.

 

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